When I put together last weekend’s Four-Links, I wondered whether it was wise to include a German-language television ad for the Wartburg. Indeed, it was: I knew Mike Eldred had some German-language skills, but I didn’t know he was so adept at hearing the nuances of DDR Newspeak. His translation:

The Wartburg 1000.  With our special tractor-sourced suspension, it is possible to drive at speeds of up to 40 KPH (25 MPH) on ze DDR dirt autobahn.

If you are late for meeting with Stasi agent, you can save time by jumping over railroad tracks!

Only seven seconds from 60 KPH (37 MPH) to 0 at test track.  Do not try this at home.

Chicks in decadent western fashions dig a dude in a Homberg, and with Wartburg 1000, you have room for two!

With deflation, you can fit 55 of the the people’s footballs in the trunk for black market sale!

If you were allowed to travel out of DDR, you could drive Wartburg 1000 to airport!

The Wartburg 1000. No need to lock the door.